Children often look to the adults in their lives to understand how to react to new or uncertain situationsincluding dental visits. If a parent or caregiver feels anxious at the dentist, its likely their child will pick up on those emotions. At McLevin Dental Clinic in Scarborough, we regularly work with families to help both adults and children feel at ease, and we understand how important it is for grown-ups to model calm, confident behavioureven when theyre managing dental anxiety themselves.
In this blog, well share how anxious adults can manage their emotions in healthy ways while helping children feel safe, positive, and supported at the dentist.
Why Your Reactions Matter
Children are incredibly observant. They notice:
Tone of voice
Body language
Facial expressions
The words you choose when describing an experience
If you appear tense or express fear about dental care, a child may assume that going to the dentist is something to be afraid of. On the other hand, when adults speak positively and behave calmly, children are more likely to develop healthy, confident attitudes toward dental visits.
Acknowledge Your Own Dental Anxiety
The first step to helping your child is recognizing your own feelings. Dental anxiety is common and validespecially if you’ve had negative experiences in the past. By acknowledging your fears, you can take proactive steps to manage them, which in turn allows you to be more present and reassuring for your child.
Ask yourself:
What specifically triggers your anxiety?
Are there sensory or emotional aspects that feel overwhelming?
What helps you feel more relaxed in healthcare settings?
Practical Strategies for Modeling Calm
Heres how to show your child that dental care can be a normal and manageable part of lifeeven if youre feeling nervous inside:
1. Use Positive Language
Avoid saying things like I hate the dentist or Its going to hurt. Instead, say:
The dentist is going to help our teeth stay healthy.
Theyll explain everything and make sure were comfortable.
I feel better after I go to the dentist.
Even small changes in language can shift a childs perspective.
2. Practice Deep Breathing Together
Turn stress-reducing techniques into a bonding moment. Before a dental visit, try breathing exercises with your child:
Breathe in slowly through your nose, count to four
Hold for two seconds
Exhale slowly through your mouth, count to six
It calms your nervous system and helps your child stay relaxed too.
3. Role-Play a Dental Visit
Pretend you’re at the dentists office at home. Use a toothbrush or spoon to check each others teeth. Let your child play the role of the dentist. This helps both of you feel more prepared and makes the experience feel familiar.
4. Dont Overshare Your Anxiety
If youre visibly nervous, try to keep the focus on your child. Its okay to have private fears, but when it comes to your childs experience, keep your words and tone light, warm, and encouraging.
5. Make the Visit a Positive Experience
Celebrate after the appointment. Whether its a fun sticker, a trip to the park, or a special snack, building a happy memory helps reinforce positive associations with dental carefor both of you.
Consider Scheduling Separate Appointments
If your anxiety is significant, it might be helpful to schedule your own dental visit separate from your childs. This allows you to receive the care and support you need without having to mask your emotions in front of your child. At McLevin Dental Clinic, we understand and support both approaches.
Work with a Dental Team That Understands
Our dental team is trained to work with familiesespecially those where both adults and children may feel anxious. We provide a compassionate, low-pressure environment where you and your child can feel safe and understood.
We also offer gentle sedation options like nitrous oxide (laughing gas) for both adults and children who need extra help staying calm during procedures.