What to Do When Your Dentist Doesn’t Understand Your Anxiety

Dental anxiety is real, valid, and deeply personal. But for many patients, one of the most difficult aspects isn’t just the fear itself—it’s feeling misunderstood, dismissed, or judged by a dental professional who doesn’t acknowledge or accommodate it. If your dentist seems impatient with your nerves, rushes through your concerns, or treats anxiety like an inconvenience, the experience can worsen your fear and drive you away from essential care.

At McLevin Dental Clinic, we know that empathy is foundational to effective treatment. Every patient deserves to feel safe, heard, and respected. In this blog, we’ll explore what to do if your current dental provider doesn’t understand your anxiety, how to advocate for yourself, and what to look for in a more compassionate care team.

Recognizing the Signs of Dismissive Dental Care

Not all dental professionals are equipped—or willing—to manage anxiety. Here are some signs your dentist might not understand or respect your concerns:

They brush off your fears with comments like “It’s not that bad” or “You’ll be fine.”

They appear frustrated or impatient when you express nervousness.

They rush through explanations or don’t check in during the procedure.

They ignore your requests for breaks, hand signals, or slower pacing.

They discourage the use of comfort tools or sedation options.

You leave feeling ashamed, embarrassed, or emotionally worse than when you arrived.

If any of this sounds familiar, know that you are not the problem—the care environment is.

Step 1: Acknowledge That Your Feelings Are Valid

Dental anxiety is one of the most common reasons people avoid oral care. It can stem from:

Past traumatic dental experiences

Sensory sensitivities

Fear of pain or needles

Claustrophobia or loss of control

Mental health conditions like PTSD or generalized anxiety disorder

Your anxiety is not something to “just get over.” It deserves to be recognized and treated with the same care as any physical need.

Step 2: Try Clear Communication

If you feel safe enough, consider expressing your concerns directly:

“I feel anxious during appointments, and I need a slower pace.”

“I’d like to know what’s happening before each step—it helps me stay calm.”

“I’m nervous about pain. Can we discuss sedation or other comfort options?”

Sometimes a provider may not realize the depth of your discomfort until you spell it out. However, if they continue to disregard your needs, that’s a red flag.

Step 3: Set Boundaries—Even Mid-Appointment

If things feel too overwhelming, it is okay to:

Ask the dentist to pause or stop

Request to speak privately before continuing

Decide not to proceed with treatment until you feel safe

You are never obligated to endure emotional distress for the sake of finishing a procedure. Your consent is ongoing, and it can be withdrawn at any point.

Step 4: Seek a Second Opinion or New Dental Provider

Finding a new dentist may feel daunting, but a provider who respects your anxiety can completely transform your experience. When researching or speaking with a new clinic, ask questions like:

“Do you offer sedation dentistry for anxious patients?”

“How do you support people with dental phobia?”

“Can I bring headphones, weighted blankets, or take breaks during my visit?”

“Will you explain each step before doing it?”

A supportive dental team will answer these questions without hesitation, shame, or judgment.

Step 5: Bring a Support Person

If you’re switching providers or revisiting care after a bad experience, bring someone you trust. They can:

Speak up if you feel overwhelmed

Help explain your history of anxiety

Offer a grounding presence during your visit

Advocate for your needs if you feel dismissed again

At McLevin Dental, we encourage support persons as part of creating a patient-centered environment.

Step 6: Document Your Needs

Prepare a simple “comfort plan” or anxiety management list to share with your provider. Include:

What triggers you (e.g., drilling noise, bright lights, fast pacing)

What calms you (e.g., music, breaks, step-by-step explanations)

What sedation options you’re open to

Your hand signal to pause treatment

This not only helps your new team support you better—it reinforces your agency in the appointment.

Step 7: Don’t Let One Bad Experience Define Future Care

A dentist’s lack of empathy can leave emotional scars, but it doesn’t mean all clinics are the same. There are many dental professionals who take mental health seriously and build care plans around your emotional comfort—not in spite of it.

At McLevin Dental Clinic, we specialize in treating anxious patients with compassion, not condescension. Whether it’s your first visit in years or your tenth attempt to find the right provider, we’ll work with you at your pace, with zero judgment and complete support.

Final Thoughts

If your dentist doesn’t understand your anxiety, it’s not your job to suffer through it. You deserve care that respects your emotions, honors your boundaries, and works with—not against—your fears. Whether through clear communication, seeking a second opinion, or switching to a more empathetic clinic, you have the right to choose a dental experience rooted in comfort and understanding.